I recently received this cover letter from a freelance translator looking for work, and I will only quote the introduction:

To whom it may concern:

Dear Sir/Madam.

I'm a Spanish freelance translator who is just undergoing a client captation mass campaign.

Good for you! But I for one am not interested in being "massively captated" - a word I understand, by the way, only because I know the Spanish word 'captar' which this translator 'tried' to translate into English.

Remember that the person receiving your résumé is, well, a person after all...